Train Wreck - No Pictures, Please

“In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it” –Cady  Heron in the Major Motion Picture: Mean Girls

I love Halloween. On my list of favorite holidays, it’s in the top 5.

1.    Indy 500
2.    Saint Patrick’s Day
3.    RV Weekend
4.     Halloween
5.    The night before Thanksgiving – Black Wednesday

It’s number 4. That’s impressive considering what the holiday is up against. 

Unlike many of the ladies of the world, I don’t consider this holiday to dress up with less clothes on. Comfort is king, ya’ll. Like Cady says, it’s “the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it”. Cheers to you. Seriously.

So, my costumes don’t follow the norm of Sexy [insert profession/character]. My costumes are a little more “fun”.

The first Halloween I spent in Chicago, I was asked to be on a Double Dare team. We had team challenges as well as challenges against other teams we saw. There were even some barracudas from Legends of the Hidden Temple. We challenged. We won. Then we got thrown out for starting a Gak throwing party. I will admit, I had something to do with this.

My second Halloween was a costume I had been talking about for years. Duck Hunt. I babysat enough to save up to buy all the materials.

• ·         T-shirt
• ·         Iron on print paper
• ·         Camo shorts (I grew out of mine from high school…I drank too much beer in college)
• ·         Camo Hat
• ·         30 Rubber Duckies
• ·         The original Nintendo Gun

It was a success. Although it’s not a real character, I think I captured it perfectly.

Last year I was at a loss for what I would be. I didn’t really want to be in a group one because I can’t ever stay with anyone I go out with. I wasn’t channeling any good video games or tv shows. But then I saw that movie Bridesmaids.  I knew there would be a few people that would try and take on this role.  The key to nailing a costume is go all out. That’s what I did. I decided to be Megan. The girl who shits in the sink, steals puppies, and eats a sub sandwich at the end of the movie with the air marshall. I knew I’d definitely be getting some numbers that night /sarcasm.

Funnily enough, I had most of the costume. All I had to do was buy the dogs, rope, and get the sandwich made.  Yes, I own a fanny pack and I wear the shit out of it. It’s hands free fun. It was a success. Nailed it.

I was reading this Today article. The Loofah is a highly searched DIY Halloween costume. As it turns out, I’ll be with a loofah this weekend. No, I will not be a bar of soap or a bottle of bodywash. What a shapeless outfit! I’m going to be a box of Franzia wine.  It will also have a working spicket to dispense wine. No. No one will be playing slap the bag.  I hunted for the right size box for about 6 weeks at my work. I came upon it by taking all the t-shirts out of it and putting them into another box.  Muhahaha.

I wonder who is going to get more numbers.  My half naked friends or my wine filled costume?

On second thought, maybe I should be a case of beer and beef jerky.