Train Wreck - No Pictures, Please

I’m not engaging in your comment on my Facebook status that mentions my feelings about 49 schools being closed in Chicago Public Schools.

I’m not answering your question that asks if I would take a pay cut to help “debt ridden CPS system to keep them open”.

Instead, I will sit back and not argue with you. We are on opposite sides, and that has been clear since the strike. Because I’m a teacher I’m supposed to fix the debt problem brought on by crappy mayors, stupid spending, and all around mismanagement of the 3rd largest school district in the country? It’s my job to say no to a raise that helps me put money away later in life because the state is stealing my pension and older people will get to the funds first. It’s my job to say “Yes! Take my money. I don’t need it. Close that debt gap!” No, that’s not my job. My job is to teach. My job is to think about your child, about their education, well-being, who they are, where they are going. My job is to be there for your child and support them, not fix the debt crisis by taking a pay cut. Maybe you should ask the alderman to do that. Maybe they could use part of their $100,000+ a year salary for their part time jobs could be split among their schools. (http://media.apps.chicagotribune.com/tables/alderman-salaries.html) Maybe our mayor could not be paying for a park for Maggie Daley that’s expected to cost $55 million (http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-08-26/news/ct-met-maggie-daley-park-20120826_1_programs-for-chicago-children-maggie-daley-grant-park). Maybe that 55 million could go towards the schools and one gets named after her? Maybe our mayor could not be planning a  300 million dollar tourism project ( http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-05-17/business/ct-biz-0517-depaul-arena-20130517_1_convention-expert-heywood-sanders-arena-mccormick-place) both the park and the tourism project are funded by tax payers.
We gladly spend money on things like that, but we starve our schools. The union had to bargain for textbooks on time. Parents have to have fundraisers to pay for ancillary teachers. And god forbid we give them a classroom. We’d be considered underutilized and would be threatened with closing. I’m just unclear why our city government is so against investing in our youth? Won’t that make our fair city better? You might say that tourism will bring us more money…money to invest in schools! I’m just wondering if that’s where the money will actually go?

I understand that CPS has about 100.000 seats open. I understand that there has to be some consolidation. I do not think they are going the right way about it. Why not a plan that goes over few years. A plan that gives schools time to adjust, to plan, and support.

But, what do I know? I’m just a teacher who should take a pay cut.

adiemtocarpe:

Samesies.

It’s over. Now I just have the post observation.

Allison helped me on some resume stuff before school today.

I wrote a cover email (are those a thing?) to the school I used to work at. They have an opening.

I have had no less than 4 people today ask me if I was applying for the in house El 2 job. Those questions were followed up with the questions concerning Montessori training and if I wanted to do that.

I have to write a whole new cover letter for the in house job, and this is what I know.

• I know that I will have to pay for part of the training…$3,000+.
• I will have to spend a whole summer in training with no pay. (I know that sounds silly, but I typically work (this summer is different, I busted my ass all year for this trip). I won’t be able to work when in training, in the suburbs, on my gas or train money from 8-5
• I’m not sure I want to drink the Montessori kool-aid and I don’t know if it’s because of the training or that I truly believe that it’s *hocus pocus.

How do you write that sort of cover letter? Like this:

Hi, hire me because I’m awesome and you tell me that every day. Also, hire me because I’m not sure I’m quite into what you are doing here, but I’d love to run your multi-age classroom like a traditional classroom with super differentiation, and structure, and positive reinforcement. It’d be wonderful to have my own class, to collaborate with others, to be on the same team, do the same thing. But, yes ,but, I’m not sure I’m into spending my summer in training. That’s kind of a time suck. I’m young. I’m unattached. I have shit to do, and since our district took our year round schedule away, when am i going to get away? I can’t spend the next two summers in training. How about this? I do some training each summer for the next few years? Cool? Cool. I’ll set up my classroom now.

This cover letter will be hard. The more I think about what I have to invest in this, the more i want to run away, not let them waste their time on me. Then again, I could see it being something I want. But, I also want a self-contained sped classroom.

*It’s not hocus pocus. I know that a lot of our success comes from the types of families that are at our school. I’d really love to see this sort of program being implemented in a low income area where kids have more of a struggle and not so much parent support.

I’ve always said I’d only teach special education. There are a multitude of reasons why.

But..

Today I told that principal of mine that I had a flutter of interest in the Elementary 1 classroom opening. He was giddy.

Something about my own classroom, multi-age, and structure got me excited.

I’ve asked myself lately if teaching is for me. I love it. I really do. I think or know that 85% of why I’m questioning this because of my current environment. It’s also the 3 IEPs I have in two weeks and the end of the year district tests as well as my own progress monitoring. I don’t mind IEPs. I kind of enjoy them. It’s weird good feeling Iget when I know I’ve written an amazing document that’s going to help a kid. But, this isn’t what I signed up for. I didn’t sign up to test my kids all the time. And yes, I know that some of those test are of my own doing (Fountas and Pinnell, Star, Rasinski, Easy CBM…), but I don’t want to spend countless hours giving the district benchmark test or the REACH evaluation. I don’t. I’m supposed to be observed again before the year is over. I told my principal that I hope he can get a good evaluation out if testing, because that’s what I do at the end of the year (as well as the beginning).

Miseducation asked me a similar question last week or so. I figure ill answer it to the masses.

How do I do all this and get to work the next day?

Well, I don’t normally have 10pm basketball games…that will make work really hard tomorrow.
I just make myself do it. Some days like today are really hard. I was exhausted. I had a rough day at work and seem to have a rough few weeks ahead. But, I know that I will feel better if I just do it. If I just get out if bed. I know the workout will come. It may not be awesome, but I feel better about myself the next day if I did something. That makes getting up for work easier.

And yes, I am tired. I am exhausted. But feeling good about the work I put into my body via workout or food consumption is totally worth it.

*I’m not trying to put myself on a high horse here, but I think it’s taken me a long time to figure out that I genuinely feel better when I balance my life. Work can’t own me. The gym can’t own me, and neither can food. If I balance them all I seem to be a happier person. Right now it doesn’t show a lot in the scale, but I feel it it, and maybe others see it.

After a long conversation with my principal about changes for next year, my job, where he wants me, what I want, hopes, dreams, and co-teaching, I found myself shaking hands with him and him saying, “I’m glad you’re giving it one more …”. I stopped him before he could finish. I told him I was going to be honest with him. I’m still looking, but I will be very up front with him about my search. I told him that I know I would be happy in an instructional self-contained classroom. I’d be more apt to take a job doing what I know I love, am good at, successful, and the kids would benefit, than coming back to a job that I’ve been unhappy at for two years even with the changes.